The “Perks” of Dog Ownership #5

Warning:  If you are at all squeamish, stop reading right now and come back on a less vulgar day.  Life can be messy; this is one of those times.

On Sunday the girls took Our Best Friend outside to play.  He got a little over-excited and lost his lunch in the snow, so the girls brought him back in.

Fast forward two days.  The Middle Child took OBF out for a bathroom break, but returned almost immediately.  “Mommy, OBF was being VILE!  He dug up his barf and wanted to eat it!  It was SO GROSS!  So I made him come in.”

Later it was the Oldest’s turn.  She, too, came back in almost immediately.  “OBF is SO DISGUSTING!!!  He found his vomit, it’s all frozen, and I couldn’t make him leave it alone!  So I brought him back.”

Well, the dog still hadn’t done what he’d gone out to do.  So even though it was colder out than I can stand, I bundled up and took him out.  And damn if those girls weren’t right.  There was no separating him from his leftover waste.  It was completely frozen– a barfsicle, if you will– no amount of tugging on the leash could make him come, and nothing would make him drop it.  I tried burying it under the snow again, kicking pieces across the yard… he went after every single chunk like it was the most tender bits of steak.  Unlike the girls, I was determined to stay out until did his rightful business.  As a result, I think the whole disgusting mess ended up right back inside him.  And in the end I don’t think he even did what I wanted him to do.  I’m with the girls– ew, gross, vile, disgusting.  And he better not kiss me with that mouth.

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About one person's view

I'm the mother of three girls, three cats, and a dog. All need constant attention, but only the dog likes to go for long walks!
This entry was posted in Dog behaviour, Dogs, pet ownership and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The “Perks” of Dog Ownership #5

  1. Oh no….a barfsicle. That’s both disgusting and hilarious. 😉

  2. thatjenk says:

    Bahahahaha!

    I’m sure he was equally perplexed by your behaviour: “Hey… why is she covering up a perfectly good snack?”

  3. Edie says:

    That is hysterical. And my dog has the same barf-scarfing ways. It’s only when I hear him retch that I can clean it up in time to prevent him from eating it again. Some dogs are big believers in recycling.

  4. oh, georgia loves her barf diet! on the one hand, i’m really happy she wants to help clean up, on the other….ekkk.

    i believe they get some nutrients out of barf. as they do with possum poop, grass [fresh or vomited], and [most yummy of all] other dogs’ poop. of course, that could be just a rumour, started to make us feel better about our dogs.

  5. Pingback: The Cycle of Life | The Dog Park

  6. HSaboMilner says:

    a Barfsicle? LOVE!! how come they don’t eat their own poop then?

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